Thursday, July 13, 2006

I Bought a New TV

Which required the complete re-arrangement of my room, which only took three or four days to do, so I have no excuse for the last seven days of non-posting. Except for the working two jobs thing. I am enjoying my now-massive 32 inch TV/computer monitor though. The words I'm typing righ are bigger than my head.

Not really, but damn this thing is huge.

Okay, so, yes, I saw Superman. Yes I loved it. No, I don't understand what the hell is wrong with the rest of the country. No I haven't see Pirates, and I'm kind of pissed and the gawd-awful amount of money it's made. No Bruckheimer-produced picture should be that damn huge. But, hey, Jack Sparrow kicks ass, does he not?

Other movies I've watched:

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

I remember the stage play fondly. I never saw it performed by anyone other than a local theatre group, but I loved it. I liked the movie, but it just left so much out. Great performances by all, I could have done without the "wacky" chase scene. Buster Keaton was good, not great, in his last movie role. He definitely could have used more screen time. Gotta love Zero though, I bet he killed the role live.

The Family Stone

I still cannot explain my hatred of Mrs Matthew Broderick, but she's at least tolerable in her performance here. Sometimes even good, like the scene where she gets plastered at a local bar. As far as "screwy" family comedies go, it's actually a great movie. Smart, funny, and the plot only has a few mild annoyances. Diane Keaton and Craig T Nelson give stellar performaces as the heads of this screwed up bunch of people. Hell the whole cast is good, including Claire Daines. It's not The Royal Tennanbaums, not even close, but from beginning to end it's an enjoyable film.

Chicken Little

I was fully prepared to hate this film. A non-Pixar CGI Disney flik? Probably crap. Nope. Hand it to the house of Mouse, they were finally able to produce a great, in-house (well, I guess it's all in-house now, huh?) animated flik, the first (good) one since Lilo & Stich I think. The voice cast is excellent (Zach Braff and Steve Zahn are hilarious) , even the annoying Joan Cusak is lovable as the ugly duckling, Abby. Not to mention bit players like Don Knotts' Mayor Turkey Lurky (maybe his last performance? have to check on that) and surprise appearences by Catherine O'Hara and Fred Willard, Adam West and Patrick Warburton. But, above all else, Fish Out of Water steals the movie. Easily the best character brought to life since the aforementioned Stitch.

Daltry Calhoun

Props to Johnny Knoxville. He's managed to shake up his acting career, doing idiotic films like The Dukes of Hazard as well as little indy pictures like this and Grand Theft Parsons. Here he's easily the best thing in the movie. He plays loser-turned-millionaire-turned-loser Daltry Calhoun, who's just learned he has a 14 yr old daughter, one who's mother is dying. The movie stumbles in a few places, but where the script fails the cast usually saves the day. Juliette Lewis surprised the hell out of me, as did newcomer Sophie Traub. I wish Knoxville would stick to films like this that actually show off his acting chops, as opposed to the dumber-than-dirt films he winds up in. Yes I think Johnny Knoxville can act, laugh away.


Well, I didn't hate it as much as Tom did. Hell, I kind of liked it. But, it's got plenty of flaws. Two rather glaring ones: Anne Hathaway and Glenn Close. I like both of them, I do, but the suck, suck, suck-didly-uck as voice overs, so does Belushi. The CGI isn't great. It really isn't even good. But it's watchable. And the plot? Yeah I figured it out from the get-go. And I mean that as soon as the bad guy reared his cute little head, I figured the damn movie out. Yeah, yeah, how smart am I to have figured out a movie geared to five year olds? On the flip side, there's Patrick Warburton. He's the best. There's no arguing it, he is. Also, Xzbit does a good job, and David Ogden Stiers is great, but they're performances are too brief. The squirrel is funny as hell too. Not a bad movie, just not a great one.

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

Kind-of based on a true story. A man goes slightly mad and attempts to hijack a plane and fly it into the White House, killing Nixon. I hate a lot of actors. I know I do. And I hate Sean Penn. Mostly because I hate people who try to use they're celebrity to influence the way they're fans think. Can't I just enjoy you as an actor? Do I really have to turn on the news and see you acting like an ass. Even if you're a justified ass. So, yeah, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Tom Cruise, Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, all of you shut the hell up and just act dammit. If you want to be in politics, be in politics. The Terminator can do it, I'd bet you could too. So, anyway...This is easily the greatest performance Penn has ever given. He's able to do something so few people can here. He takes a man, a crazy man, and makes him sane. I want Sam to succeed. I want him to win back his ex, I want him to start his business and be profitable, but most of all I want him to fly that damn plane into the White House. Seriously. By the end of the movie i was hoping he would succeed. Crazy? Yes. That just how brilliant his acting is here. Yeah, the rest of the cast is good too, but Penn got robbed, this should've gotten him at least a nod, if not a win.

George Lucas in Love

When a handful of student filmmakers can take a small budget and produce a film better than the last three Star Wars fliks combined, and have it last under ten minutes, you know you're doing something wrong. I can see why this got all the buzz it did, it's friggin brilliant.

X-Men: Darktide

Ditto, except without the buzz. This came packed with some minimates at Target and it beats the pants off X3. Seriously.

Hollywood North

Hey, look, it's Matthew Modine. This is a mostly forgettable flik about Canada becoming the next Hollywood. A guy sets out to make a film out of a classic Canadian novel, but the investors want American actors, who in turn want to rewrite the script, making it unrecognizable. This might as well say "based on a true story" at the opening. Deborah Kara Unger is the single best part of the film. Well, unless you count Jennifer Tilly's breasts. I did, there's two of them, and they're great.


When the best part of your movie is the cgi-heavy scene where you duplicate a videogame, you're not doing so good. This movie both sucks and blows. If it sucked any harder it would be a fucking black hole. Do not watch it, I have saved you the trouble of wanting to gouge out your eyes with rusty nails. Seriously, there's not even any nudity to save the day.

Beyond the Sea

Lex Luthor re-enact the life of Bobby Darin, Lois Lane plays his wife. Decent flik, I'm just oh so tired of the biopics.


Kiera Knightly plays Domino, a woman for which things seem to just fall into place. Micky Rourke plays Cable, mysterious man from the future, out to save the world.Edgar Ramirez plays....Rictor? Sure, why not! It's the X-men spin0ff you just don't want to miss!

Kidding aside, good movie. Not Man on Fire, but good nonetheless.

I watched some TV shows too:

Tripping the Rift: Season One

Futurama it ain't, but it'll do until we get thos new episodes and movies. I could do without some of the more perverse humour the show inflicts, but I suffered through it because Darth Bobo is the greatest TV character since Bender.

Soap: Season Three

You could say this was the season they jumped the shark, but I like to think that happened in the very first episode. Burt Campbell is one of the greatest TV characters of all time. Seriously, I rank him right up there with Barney Fife. His stoooooopid, goofy antics never fail to get a laugh from me. The only thing missing from the season was, of course, Benson, who'd gotten his own show. But he does stop by for a few episodes. Only one season left to go. Oddly enough I've never seen a single episode of season 4. so nobody spoil it for me dammit! also, I've got a major crush on the actress that played Corrinne, Diana Canova.

Wings: Season 1&2

It irks the hell out of me that Tony shaloub is shown as being a main cast member. He didn't sign on until Season 3 I think, though he did make one guest spot on the show in Season 2. He's even mentioned on the back cover as Antonio the cab driver. Grrr. That aside, I love this show. It's hands down one of my all time favorite sitcoms. I hope they keep the sets coming, I'd really like to have all these episodes. It's just great, great television.

Tomorrow: comics.!


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