Tuesday, March 01, 2005

And the winner is...

Cory Weigel. It might have been nepotism, only we aren't related, and I didn't tell him he couldn't enter...he can't next time...also, there's no accounting for taste and some of it is probably only funny to me. I liked all the entries though. It was tough, I had to choose between funny and inventive, funny won, well one of the funnies won, but not to fret, everyone who entered will get something.

Now, don't all you other slackers wish you'd entered?

Here's the entries, if any of you that wrote in have a problem with me displaying your entry, let me know, and I'll take it down. Thanks to the few that wrote in, I'm cooking up another contest for either later this month or the first of April, so keep watching!

Cory Weigel-

"I'd convince all of the French that they're frogs? cast an illusion spell that causes all of the judges in the world to get painful erections when they hear the phrase "all rise?" Turn my ex-girlfriend, whom I lost my virginity to back into a heterosexual. Then, I'd attach Dino's penis to his forhead! that oughtta help him with his oral fixation...

Next, I'd make Bill Gates' rectum spontaneously combust for every time someone's computer fucks up (unless they have an Apple, I suppose? -Logan) and finally I would have Oliva get to third base with Hilary Duff , only to find out that she had a penis....

Eric Fayneburg-

"If I was Loki for a day, I'd steal Thor's underpants. Let's see theThundergod stop my evil plans without any knickers."

Chris Oliva-

"Hmm...Loki for a day.

The first thing that def. needs to be done is bone the Enchantress. The girl's got legs so tight, Loki needs to get mischeivious all over 'em.

Through the course of the day, having the powers of a freaking GOD would be amazing as it is. I would be testing all the various abilities I have suddenly acquired and prob. be pulling a few pranks on my obviously hunkier and manlier bro, Da Mighty Thor.

And being Loki, I would also try to do what he's always tried to do...try and take over the world. Very Pinky and Brainish but with all that vast power, sitting on a throne somewhere in Asgard is boring as hell, I want to go outside and fight SPidey and Wolverine like everyone else.

Yep, I'd be kicking ass and taking names...and getting the Enchantress' phone numba!"

nsatkinson- (sorry, didn't leave me a name, but don't worry, I'm sending emails!)

"Move over Mister Quesada... you've been stripped ofall administrative duties. Here's a pencil and a newcopy of Brigman's anatomy. You're rusty man. I saw "Father." I'll be at the big desk now, and while not known for my reliability or trustworthiness, I do know which side of the toast upon which my bread is buttered, and its time to make things right in the universe. I'm putting all Marvel titles on indefinite hiatus until Grant Morrison meets his contractural obligations toDC. The I contract him to redefine the MU in my own image... a trickster counterpart of DC's Onin. The initial miniseries which should lay the philisophical groundwork and continuity mechanics will be drawn by Art Adams. Slowly I'll roll out titles as creators come up with them. High wierdness. Then I'll be fired and Jim Shooter will take over, initiating a bold new direction. Bob Layton will make me the next Iron Man while Tony Stark grapples with guilt over his opposition to same sex marriage. Or maybe I'll leave the heavy lifting up to people that know better, and hope that every once in a while a good book happens to crawl out of the mess that is mainstream comics. It happens you know?"


"If I were the Norse God of Mischief, I would give all straight menbreasts - the world would stop fighting, global peace and harmonywould be achieved, as all the straight men in the world wouldn't leave the house."


"If I were Loki, God of Mischief, the first thing I would do is make myself one bad-ass dude. Get bulked up, maybe work out - that way, no one would mess with me.I would also get some women and plenty of fruit juice, for reasons that are probably best kept PG-rated.I would make George W. Bush go on national television and declare himself, "America's Dancing Monkey Man".I would make damn sure that life would never be boring, that Rush Limbaugh and Michael Medved and their ilk were embarrassed at every turn, and I would wreak havoc with the time line, going back in time and doing wacky things, like thumbtacks on Hitler's chair.Because - let's face it - godlike omnipotence is meant to be abused."

All you guys will recieve an email from me, as soon as I get your addresses I'll mail you a prize package!


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