When Life Hands You Lemons...
You should line them up and take shots at them with a Magnum, because lemons just suck.
Turns out something IS wrong with my car after all. But, it's not the radiator, it's some kind of mystery ailment. I think it may just be the water pump, a $50 part, actually I HOPE it's just the water pump, but the symptoms are becoming increasingly odd, so there's just no telling right now.